17th November 2012
Dear Teen SMSK,
How are you… ah, but I know the answer already. "Fine, I guess" wasn't it? You never strayed from those three words as a retort and you taught me so as well. I know you don't have time to read a letter. You have important ventures to take care of and while I don't deny them being important, just take a moment to read through, since I know that later on, you shall have all the time and though, being who we are, you shall say "I don't regret it", I can guarantee this letter shall nudge your curiosity till eternity. You are young, you will have far more important ventures.
You probably weren't expecting me to write to you, but now that you have received this letter and realized who it is from, you must be brimming with anticipation over the eloquence you might witness. Old habits still force me into verbose literature but time forced it to settle on a borderline so don't expect much from me. You probably are still in that effusive stage.
You know, your take on life was not wrong. You felt the world was disturbed, that it was a bicycle riding inside a well, with the aristocratic population jeering at the wobbly, pitiable citizen, using meager amounts of cash – in their perspective – for entertainment, while the citizen held on for dear life onto the wobbly bicycle. You wished to be a writer and change the world. That had others laughing right? A vision and a method that were deemed as a six year olds fantasy? What mockery it was, don't you agree? You probably ignored them, used their jeer as fuel for paving a better path, for fortifying the chaos you had experienced and to strengthen your resolve.
Well to ensure you, to let the ripples of your own doubt settle to provide you with a perfect reflection, I shall tell you: yes, you did succeed in becoming a writer whose name rang through streets, who every kid looked up to. A name that, as you phrased, would reach the heavens if sound had the capability of doing so. Ah, am I using past tense? Confusing tenses; that is another trait that you passed on to me. Moving onwards… yes, you shall bring that six year olds fantasy to life. Were you able to make the world a better place through your words though? I know you would not want me to spoil that for you.
But there will be sacrifices. There will be sorrow… you will have to endure a lot. You are steadfast, I know. Who would know that better than me? But there are problems, losses that you did not imagine or perhaps, at the very least… you wished not to face. You shall have to get stronger; you might have to break bonds. This reminds me of a four-liner I wrote when I was a teen. I recall you were quite proud of it.
"My life tells of lies,
tales of vows and torn ties.
Of stories having names
blank pages filling frames"
Yes, that describes the situation you will probably end up in.
But… let me guess… you must me grinning while reading this right? The anticipation was worth the while I guess. You would probably be saying out aloud "You did it on your own right? So shall I" and you probably would be right as well.
There are perhaps many questions that you would like me to answer. Rather you would be wondering, what sort of questions would you ask when you will be in my place. I hope not to disappoint you. There are too many worries, uncertainties, insecurities that has molded us. I shall answer what I feel is required so don't think badly of it.
The first question, ah a plain and simple one. You are probably keeping that question in a vault in your mind which unlocks itself again and again. So I shall help you. Help you know that, had you approached her, had you expressed your liking, would it have made a difference? Would you two have spent your life together for a single dream? Had you not ignored the single whisper that left her lips… ah you are not sure there was a whisper at all right? All I shall advice you, is that don't be as hesitant as I was quite a few years back, and she will probably not laugh at you. But she was always a sweet soul wasn't she? And she will remain that way.
The other question that I feel you should know – one that made me ponder for many a night. Would you shed a tear ever again? Quite a queer statement right? It was probably not in your mind but if you think about it… that is one question that you have avoided answering. I found the answer and to ease your burden I shall share it. You made me snuff them out right? Kill my emotions; repeat in my head that sorrow is a must on this path. You prepared me for life. Did I pass the test? Will YOU pass the test? I shall give you a hint, a hint from your own writing.
"Tears and smiles,
return after whiles.
They're unlike, yet so near
for your smiles, spell my tears"
I recall you loved word play but riddles specifically did not match your taste. I am fine with that.
Oh dear me, it is quite late! I quit on the practice of staying up till late and while it may surprise you, you shall learn to do so as well. And tomorrow I also have a gathering with old faces. Faces that both you and I know of.
I shall let you go then. It is your life after all and while I managed to expose a lot, you and I both know that knowing something before experiencing it is in a way, useless. So I await you. I await the day when you shall come and embrace me. Not as a superior but as an equal. I have quite some life ahead of me and I would like to spend it with the same charisma you hold while finishing this letter. May you be prepared for the worst and may you live a happy life.
P.S. Oh and burn this letter after you read it! You will grow up to be a lot more secretive. And the dot after SMS is the way I write it now.