A stagnant moment it took to rise
for conflicts within, abstained my eyes
to divert from those slabs of stone.
A crime repeated, condemned, atoned.
Although such crimes are ripples of past,
such ripples, oh why you travel so fast?
Reminders of a crime repeated,
same words, same etches again mistreated.
Long ago intertwined with me;
was an essence of truth and serenity.
But Glad was I? No feelings did stir.
I cruelly stomped the love in her.
I ended a smile, I shattered a heart;
shred the web of love apart;
I swelled a tear in her forlorn eyes,
she closed those eyes, a sniff did rise.
A smile again, though very weak it was.
She bowed, and thanked, oh she hid the claws!
That tore at that poor soul, her soul did wear.
Stoned was I? Why did I not care?
To nurse and tend a flailing soul;
my judgment infected with pestilence deplore.
Repelled now by such sordid thoughts,
Will crying help? No! It will not!
I felt too, an ache of care, so now I
thrash through the ripples and scream out why!
Why appeared not before me retorts I sought?
Why be so cruel oh time? Let a lesson be taught!
Even if untaught it was, why reject her love?
My gazes ascend the heavens above.
Maybe emerged within a twisted craving.
It stalks obstinately the tree's engraving.
The eminence within it does not see;
the shell more than the core mattered to me.
To burden an engraving so unpleasant I resisted,
though I yearned to be burdened; but the craving insisted.
I cared more of what others desired,
for desires so empty, against your love I conspired.
Oh ripples remind me when our paths changed,
how she came across, her love unchanged.
How she nagged me not, how she just outlaid.
The very same words that now mark her grave.
But what of me? I scoffed and turned away;
gave little heed to her display.
Like sunflower to sun in day,
she smiled still and hoped and prayed.
Oh ripple remind me years later when it soared;
the wind crying "Oh that girl is no more!"
But alas one memento she left displayed,
a note addressed: "Are you ok?
Have you found the one for you?
The one I once yearned to be for you.
Do not worry oh friend for I hoped and prayed!
Through lonely nights which aided my decay.
I knew not back then what I should do
to be the perfect one for you.
But I realize now that fate it was that decreed;
your one true love could not be me.
I thank you still for the courage you gave!
That let me live to this present day!
But weakening I am, it's time for a goodbye,
my first and last
Never did I cry as much as I cried;
crying such cries as I cried that night.
In putrid spaces where she was found dead,
a smile lingered still, lingered no regret.
Upon the funeral, alone I stood.
The rain pouring; hiding tears as I stooped.
I seated beside her and gazed at the stone.
The rain halted, the clouds parted and a light shone:
"Dear friend, can you please answer my,
query, one I feel I can no longer hide.
But first, I love you, that is what I feel.
Now please be honest, do you love me?"
Diverted still, tears fill my eyes.
Oh time! You sure took time to let me realize,
that all these years I lived a life,
a life in which I lived a lie.