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"There is nothing you could do about it". That was something that always made me cry when I recalled it for the last few years.

I had heard it since I was a little boy wearing shorts running around in school. One day during our dodge ball practice my friends accidentally hit a girl sitting alone on a bench. It bruised her arm.While the other boys continued playing with no concern, I approached her, sitting nervously at the other end of the bench.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She rubbed her arm a few times where the ball had hit her and then withholding tears she gave a weak smile "Its ok, the pain cannot be lessened. There is nothing you can do about it"

I handed her my lunch.

Since then we sat together and ate our lunch. She was a sweet girl, always optimistic and had a keen interest in the philosophy of reasoning. Being a small child I noticed this, years later.

Years later when it was raining and we both ran, covering our heads with the heavy medical books our college had recently introduced. She was wearing a full length frock and scarf which invited many an awkward stare but she was oblivious of them. The frock made it quite hard for her to run as well. I was wearing typical blue jeans and a printed shirt which too, sadly, contributed to discomforting stares.

We were running late for the bus and just as we reached the stop, the door closed with a hiss and the bus started moving. I ran after it, dropping my book signaling it to stop but it was futile. As I turned back and picked up a soggy, useless book, she stared at me with a huge grin.

"What is so funny?" I inquired with slight annoyance.

"Nothing, just when you were waving your arms you…" She started laughing.

"What?" I insisted.

"Nothing..." she replied back, still laughing.

I sighed "Well the bus is gone"

She stopped laughing, smiling still "It's not your fault that the sky is crying; there was nothing you could do about it. We will manage some other way"

I laughed; there really was no reason to be grumpy over the bus leaving us behind.

"It wasn't the sky. Your frock is the actual reason we were late" I joked wanting to see her reaction.

She giggles a bit "I guess it is the curse of the frock"

That statement was confirmed when I stood on a well decorated stage, waiting in a tight suit that near choked me. As a newly practicing doctor who was also the most prominent person I had to meet etiquettes. I stared at my watch and sighed; I was very sensitive about meeting rnds on time then. As I stood there, my younger brother jogged up to me and whispered "They are here" and I turned to my left waiting intently.

A smile spread on my face when she entered, wearing a red frock with jewels and embroidery sparkling in the many lights and her face; slightly rosy cheeks and bright red lips complementing the radiant eyes.

She stepped on the stage delicately and sat alongside me on the divan.

"Why are you late?" I asked in a low voice despite the distance between us.

She whispered back giggling "It was the curse of the frock"

I smiled, standing as my uncle approached me with a rather serious face.

"What is it Uncle?" I asked in a whisper.

"I am afraid the maulvi (priest) will be an hour late, he had to attend another marriage first" He told me.

I slumped back, my disappointment showing clearly on my face. She asked me what it was and I told her. She gave a sweet smile "there must be some reason he didn't inform us of the other wedding"

"Whatever reason, he has ruined my mood"

She giggled "Don't be grumpy. What is done is done. No one else will arrive on such short notice so we shall have to wait. There is nothing you can do about it now."

I smiled back, thinking to myself that this was not an occasion to be grumpy on. Nevertheless I went to one side and dialled the maulvi's number and forced a stern enough tone on him to make him hurry though I was partially hiding my anxiety. He still came an hour later.

Covering up my anxiety like this became a common practice for me. When she was to have her second delivery and I waited in the hallway, anxiously calling on the doctor who had taken an unexpectedly long break.

When the doctor finally returned, she gave me an annoyed look but with a smile. I wonder if my wife had told her about my habit or perhaps she was annoyed anyways. "Well I am a guy who is extra anxious and insecure. There is nothing I can do about it" I thought and beamed slightly back at her.

She calmly explained the situation to me.

"It is a boy" and my heart brimmed with relief and joy. My worries soon returned to my wife.

Those worries persisted when she fell down the stairs and in the process broke her leg pretty bad. We sat in the hospital when the doctor came in "How are you doing Ma'am?"

She chuckled slightly "That is some way to address your mother now is it?" and our son smiled, his smile same as his mothers.

"Well I have to be professional. After all I just started this month" he said as he added some notes to his pad.

I stood up reaching for the pad, being a retired doctor now "Any treatment that can help with the recovery? Maybe increase mineral and protein supplements?"

She looked at me and held my hand "There is no need for that. Bones cannot heal faster. There is nothing you can do about it."

"Ah but they do heal faster. At least a bit faster"I said as I squeezed her hand, knowing she was wrong.

That was not the last time she was wrong. She was wrong when she stated "I will get better soon" and looking at her lying on the bed, the wrinkles of her skin adding a distraught look to her usually jolly face.

I grazed my hand to her cheeks and she opened her eyes slightly, the light from the machine next to her reflected in her somber eyes. She smiled still "Hey there"

"Hey" I replied back, smiling gently as my heart beat painfully in my chest "You going to be alright girl?"

She looked at me then avoided my gaze "It doesn't matter does it. This expensive treatment is a waste of the money we saved."

I held her and gently "Your life is more important dear. Even if it costs me everything else"

She smiled sadly but shook her head"What is the need?After all, there is nothing you can do about my condition" I kept standing besides her.

I kept standing besides her as she was lowered into the freshly dug grave, her skin pale and her lips lifeless. All leave as I keep standing there. The nurse hands me over a note. She places a hand on my shoulder and I nod as she leaves me alone with my beloved.

I open the note. It reads:

"Hello my love. I am writing this to you to say what I was unable to tell you during our brief life. Those brief moments that I cherished in my heart.

When I saw you wave your arms under the rain, I realized then that you would be my angel who would take me in his grace and usher me to heaven. And I was totally right. You were that angel.

You made my dreams come true. My dreams that I dreamt since a little boy sat next to me. You gave me what I did not have. A reason to be optimistic.

But what I loved most about you was that even though there was nothing you could do… you always tried to do something. You showed me that unable to change circumstances is no reason to stop trying to change them.

And so I write to you, though I can't do anything about your emotions after I die, but I still try

Good bye my Angel"


"there was nothing I could do" when ever I think over these words that were once my source of comfort, tears fill my eyes. But I guess she was right this time. There is nothing I could do about it.
This is a work based on one of the phrases that I use a lot and after some time I realized how much an effect it can have while it is just a customary phrase. This story is another way to represent that. How little things that may not matter but in the end they mean a lot to you.

Anyways, enjoy and for those who wish to critique:

1. Did the concept of revolving around a phrase work well? If no then please explain.

2. Does the story keep interest/did you enjoy reading it?

3. Did the repetition of the main phrase seem natural/did the dialogue work?

4. Was the ending satisfying? If no then please explain.

5. General comments.

Edit: I have changed a few portions and have changed the editting. I hope that it reads better this way. It did to me at least.

Thank you!
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Good story - Go find someone to critique it for you :P
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Okay :P
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)

*thomasbisbee is someone you can ask. He's good - been a really big support, both in terms of literature and otherwise as well.

He's a very good critic - and if nothing else, he'll like reading this work.

I'm not saying I don't want to critique it - I'm just saying, how about I give someone else a chance. Particularly one who has had a DD.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't ask for critiques :hmm: anymore at least. If he does drop by the work I would love to get his critique but I won't go around asking him since I don't even know him. So I have no problem with you not critiquing but I will wait otherwise. No need to give the alternate.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Sure thing.

I'll see if I can manage something.
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:iconsilvergabetha834:
silvergabetha834 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional General Artist
I really liked the formatting of the story. The repeated phrases and the bold repetition really tied it together. It's very sweet and wrapped up nice a pretty with a big bow. I normally don't care for those sappy endings, but this would make a lovely children's book with a few watercolor illustrations. I did feel that the transition from new father to fearful old man was a bit abrupt. You cut out a huge chunk of the couple's life. I feel like you need one more cycle of description in there about the son going to school or some kind of incident involving middle age. Overall I really enjoyed it though. Nice work.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am glad that you liked it :) I was unsure if people would be able to spot the repeated phrases so I underlined them ^^; Oh? You think it will? I would love to turn it into such a book but would it really be a children's book? ^^; I mean would it need some tweaks and this and that or would it be fine as it is? Perhaps increase the length, or change language slightly?

I do agree with you! Thank you for pointing it out! I do need another cycle and I will try to add it soon :D

Thank you for your contructive comment :huggle:
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:iconsilvergabetha834:
silvergabetha834 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
I think it would be a fine children's book. If we stick to candy hearts and rainbows their whole life, how will they learn about reality?

I'm glad I could help!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm... that is true. I could rework slightly on the language but since there is no seemingly adult theme and it targets more of a "loving one partner" concept, I think it would be good :) I like the idea of water color paintings but who will make them :hmm:
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:iconsilvergabetha834:
silvergabetha834 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
Ugh, If I wasn't swamped I'd offer. I tried to do a picture book once while I was doing the whole school thing and it didn't work out. Also, I really didn't like the message the author was trying to send with her piece. Something like, leave it to fate and the world will give you what you need. I don't like the idea of telling kids not to work towards their goal, that if they just sit there the wind will take care of them. Anyway, yours has a lovely theme and if you wanted me to attempt one or two when I'm off in the summer, I'd be more than happy to!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah its okay :) thank you for the offer! I can actually imagine your style of water painting going along with the work and a work perhaps with each cycle... it would look quite good :) but I would rather not burden you! I might consider publishing it in the summer as well so we shall see what happens then :D
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:iconpuddingvalkyrie:
PuddingValkyrie Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
1. Did the concept of revolving around a phrase work well? If no then please explain.

I think so, yes. It was a touching little story... I have to say, just as I began to think 'this is not working so well any more...' it was almost the end and it fixed itself.

2. Does the story keep interest/did you enjoy reading it?

Yes. It was a nice little story. As I said above, about the point that she broke her leg I started to feel like it was losing me, but then it picked up and the last bit tied the whole thing together.

3. Did the repetition of the main phrase seem natural/did the dialogue work?

I think so, yes. Some of the situations seem a little unnatural use of the phrase to me, but only a little bit.

4. Was the ending satisfying? If no then please explain.

Yes, the ending was was really made it for me. That just because 'there is nothing you can do about it' doesn't mean you should stop trying. I liked that very much indeed.

5. General comments.

There were some grammatical and spelling errors here and there, but they were few and minor.

All in all, I enjoyed it, but I think it's needs a bit of a re-write to fix those erros perhaps.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for the feedback! I really appreciate it :)

I will make a few tweaks in the work since I wrote it some time back. I hope that it will get better. Over the part when she lost her legs, what seemed to be the problem if you can point out?

Hopefully I will be able to work on the grammatical mistakes as well ^^ Thank you again!
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:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. In all honesty I can't see many things that need to be improved. I see some grammar errors, but those are easily fixed with a once over read through (as dorky and retarded as it sounds, reading aloud does work! Just do it when you are home alone XD). I love your voice in this piece. I really do. The end was a tad predictiable, but I don;t know a way you could prevent that. Also, why would the doctor be handing him the note? Wait, never mind. I get why now, just needed a little thought XD. Okay, going back to the note thing. When his wife died, he would have been given a box of his wife's stuff that would have been in the hospital room. So that would mean that he would have found the note in the box, not given to him by the doctor. Unless, since his son is a doctor, the son was the one who took care of the wife in the hospital. Again, this is unlikely because of the fact that in hospitals they do not allow people to get emotionally involved with paintents. So, unless it is a very small town the son wouldn't have handed the husband the note.

That is a ramble for you, most of that isn't helpful at all XD. Recap, some grammar mistakes. Read it aloud. Flow works for me. I like how it seems kind of...rough if that makes sense. And I love the voice. I love it, love it, love it!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am glad you liked these works of mine :) they are different from my previous style. an example of my previous style is... Nevermind xD I am giving you too much to read :) Thanks for the critique. I know it was a bit predictable (especially compared to the other works I have put forward later) but I don't think a very classical twist will help here. I am rarely alone but I will try reading it out aloud :D I think it is not necessary that he was given the box or say... he had either never kept many things there or he had taken them beforehand. I didn't want to "leave" it on the side table or somewhere (I didn't want it to resemble the ending of "UP" which it somehow does resemble! And I am glad you like the rest :) It... is well not based off a true story but... kinda :)
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:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Don't talk about Up! God that movie almost made me cry! I don;t think that is a children's movie at all!

Good grief I am a big baby over here XDDD

You aren't giving me to much to read. As my tag says: I'm not busy I only say that so people leave me alone. Thats right, you XD

Above is a joke by thee way XD
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh okay then read this xD .... lol joking :)
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:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
XDDDDDD I'm busy! <---Just kidding XD
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
pfff :P since you like detailed works... how about this :) [link]
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:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Do you mind putting this in the group for me? THat way I dont have to hold onto this comment XD (good god I am lazy XD)
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for mentioning :) I have added it to the gallery!
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(1 Reply)
:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Fiiiine XDDDD
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:iconanderue:
anderue Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
This just made me kinda sad - but in a more comforting way.
I have just received some painful news from a friend, and I kept blaming myself for it.
But truthfully, there's nothing I could do at this point... Thank you for sharing this
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am genuinely glad that I was able to help someone with my work. Thank you for reading it and I hope all goes well with your life. Be strong.
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
Whoa, for some reason I find myself completely enraptured in this little splurge of a story. Perhaps because it makes me think of one of my all-time favorite movies (Disney's "UP") or maybe because as the characters grew, I seemed to grow, whatever the reason, this small short is forever among my favorites.

That said, I couldn't find very many mistakes and the few I did find were nothing major.

:bulletblue: The shift in tenses is always a challenge for the writer and reader both, yet there are ways to combat that. Leaving certain verbs in one tense while others in another is a rather confusing, but somehow simple way to solve this problem.

:bulletblue: For example in, "I kept standing besides her as she was lowered into the freshly dug grave, her skin pale and her lips lifeless. All leave as I keep standing there," the verbs are out tenses in few areas and it should be standing beside her not "standing besides her.".... "I kept standing beside her as she was lowered....all leave as I keep standing," shows a verb confusion, kept standing doesn't match all leave, changing all leave to all left would help solve this problem, but it could be avoided completely as if you change "I kept standing" into I stayed by her side or even I never moved an inch from her side. There are a few more issues in this group of words but this space is looking cluttered so on to the next topic, note me if you have any questions.

:bulletblack: You mention the father being a doctor in only a single line and that is in reference to his son's diagnoses and prescriptions, this confuses the reader because they were not aware that the man was essentially a doctor in any form so it jars them to read it for the first time in that situation.

:bulletpurple: Try to avoid unnecessary words such as that and had... In the first line of the story you open with, "'There is nothing you could do about it'. That was something that always made me cry when I recalled it for the last few years," which contains a few extra words. To begin, the phrase could lead into the next line quite easily and the word that only makes it seem as if the reader was repeating the same thought. Putting, "'There was nothing you could do about it,' was a phrase that made me cry (or even: made tears of hurt well)," would sound a lot better and nix the feeling of repetition. That said, the last few words of the sentence are ambiguous to the reader and confuses them, modifying the phrase a bit by saying something like, "...always made me cry as my thoughts flew back over the years (or simply: as I remembered what happened)." There are problems like this all over your writing but they can be fixed by simply switching the words for something else.


I could go on and on about improving this already amazing story but as this comment is already too long, I shall stop here. I hope this helps and that you are actually able to read it all the way through :P
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, thanks for the long critique xD I am grateful :love:

Then going on wards, I think the doctor is confusing a few many people, so I will change it accordingly. The tenses are something I never cared about but I think I will have to look them over, thanks for pointing them out!

But with the "wordiness" of the piece; sadly that is the way I am so I would not be able to note many wordy places though I will try to change the ones I do see! Thanks for pointing out those as well! Although the statement "...all over your writing..." does leave me in serious anxiety :( loll but it is my choice to look it over, you have done enough (I would not have minded a longer critique ^^ )

Lastly, thank you for going through it! And I am glad you liked it so much although as a side joke... your choice sucks ;) I mean a favorite of yours that has so many problems does prove that point xD
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
No my choices are fine, that just means I recognize potential and if the mistakes were fixed and the plot fleshed out a little this could be an amazing short story.

As for the all over your writing, it wasn't as bad as that may have sounded, all it means is that you use an extra word hear and there. You should have said something, I could've kept typing! Note me if you have any questions about mistakes or things of that nature.

You are welcome, the doctor line was a bit confusing but using common sense (not that the others were lacking) it was easy to know what you meant, it was just a bit disorienting.

I am rather known for long critiques, but I honestly only do it for works I either like or strongly dislike *cough*Chen*cough*.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I will improve the piece and then take your opinion over it :) asking again and again over small issues will be tiresome for you :)

and... by chen... do you mean someone having a name similar to wordofchen? ;) Cuz if you do, I have a few questions that only someone slightly older than me (on DA) would know :)
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:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
Yes, I mean wordofchen...note me the questions (raising hell over the jerk is not something I'm wont to do).... I may be able to answer them.

And good, I don't mind. That's why I'm here :)
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The running phrase throughout the piece is "There's nothing you can do about it." It's the glue that holds together all the fragments of time you gave the reader, and connects the story in such a short little window. One thing that slightly caught me off guard, though, was the different portrayals of the same phrase. Towards the beginning it makes the narrator dispirited, then throughout the entirety of the story it actually seems to cheer him up and give him hope, then when his wife dies, it flips entirely and seems to be said in anger and spite. The last paragraph felt a little uncomfortable- very cynical in a mostly upbeat retelling of his life.
By the way, I absolutely adore the phrase she tells him about how he looked like an angel in the rain (and in frustration.) It seems like such a good idea!! You should write a poem or something expanding on it, oh my goodness, wish I had thought of that first.

And, with my critique, a hug: :hug:
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha thank you :) the phrase itself conveyed a simple meaning "there is nothing you could do about it" it can be taken "negative" serious or "positive" non serious. The other times the boy/man was accustomed to the phrase. BUT near the end... that very same phrase came to haunt him.

If you have other advices do give :D
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I liked bold for conversations and the repetition of the phrase, but I think it got a little distracting for the changing of scenes. I liked the idea, though, to transition- only I'd make it italics or some other less intense font.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hmmm... I could do that! make them italic instead of bold! Thanks again!
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:iconmagic6jewls:
magic6jewls Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Student Writer
Well written with a nice catch phrase. It added so much depth to the story, knowing that there's nothing you could do. It's a wonderful theme but it could be better expanded upon. Although it's lovely how you gave situations where one could do nothing about something, and many of the things do have correspondence, it got a little repetitive and annoying. Also, all the italics, bold, and underlines were a bit of an eye-sore. It's very imaginative of you to use this to connect the story (the bolded phrases repeat as the story moves along, showing the reader the connection), but there's no real need to italicize all the speech, and no real need to bold the priest. Try to cut down on the stylized font, and give our eyes a rest.

I suggest a very thorough reread of this, because there are places where I got confused (broken leg to doctor's office. Son is the doctor? Narrator also doctor?) and I'm sure I'm not the only one. To me, this felt like flash-back after flash-back of the narrator's life with his beloved, and... It doesn't work well as flashes. Perhaps a softer transition could be used once in a while. It was just a lot of flashing and my brain was being pulled this way and that, confused and disoriented. But like I said before, great catch-phrase and although the story isn't one that's extraordinarily original, it is still a lovely read. My two biggest concerns are the text, and the transitions. Remember, simplicity could go a long way. Continue writing!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Can you go through it again (if you want only the doctor portion) and see if you still have a problem?
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
ah Thank you for your critique :D I will look into the italics and bolds. But when you talk about transition, I was actually giving the timeline i.e. how time passed. First they were children, then college going students, then married, then had delivery, then their son was full grown thus they had to be old as well and then her death. I personally still don't feel a problem with the doctor line but I will look into it :) thanks for your time :D
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:iconmagic6jewls:
magic6jewls Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
No problem. And the doctor line was simply an example. There were other instances where I was left disoriented until the paragraph was over.

I read it over again, and I'm glad that you took some of the bolded stuff away. Much easier on the eyes!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well I will wait for other critiques; I still don't see any such disorientation :)
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:iconmagic6jewls:
magic6jewls Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
Alright. Maybe it's just me. xD
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:iconthecomickid:
theComicKid Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012
I shall be completely honest with you my newly acquainted friend, but I'm not particularly fond of this work.

It has a nice concept, you used the text styles well(bold, underlined, ...) but it doesn't really pull me in as much as your other works tend to do.
For some reason the bold text kept pulling me and my eyes couldn't read the none-bold parts fast enough. So maybe just try to lower the amount of bold text?
Not sure if it's only me, or other experienced it as well.

The overall story is nicely told, perhaps a bit quick to my taste, some more details would have made it better in my opinion, though of course not too much of them.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hmmm true, I tried a different approach here. What I figured was that too much details in this would ruin it; not always do details prove to be good points and in this case I thought that if I went "quick" then it would be a problem.

BUT I guess I should reduce the bolds a bit... bye bye babies xD

Think of it this way; I wanted the stress to remain on the title itself and not bore out people (cuz knowing myself I can extend it to 4 thousand words easily). But thanks for your critique : always helpful!
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012
You're most welcome, glad I could be of service.
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:icondawn181:
dawn181 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like how large of a time span you covered in this piece. I could never accomplish that in such a short piece of work. I would have gotten to caught up in details that were unimportant to the main point, but you only wrote what was necessairy.

I use that phrase a lot. Because it is the truth, there is nothing they could do about it, nothing they could do to help me. But when the situation is turned around, and people tell me there isn othhing I could do about it, I get furious and annoyed because I can't sit around and do nothing. I there has to be something for me to do.

Hmm you inspired me to write a piece on the topic. I'll see what happens.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for going through my work :) I am glad you liked it. This is also one of my most used phrases :D along with "No Tension" lol and coupled together, they work wonders :D

Do tell me (I hope I get the notification) when you complete your work!
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:icondawn181:
dawn181 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I will if I ever get it written XD
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Okay :D
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