[x]

Waiting for her to come this wayThe breeze tousles through the night and his hair.
He sits in expectance for her to come here;
waiting for her to come this way.

Like that first time; her footsteps echoed so loud.
In a night as such not even the moon could be proud.
An ethereal glow she emitted, an embodying light.
The wind ruffled her black locks like an angel in flight.

Her breath was a sanctifying whisper of life
and her dress; oh a woven fabric of natures device.
Her soft traces upon the earth would have grown
the fruit bearing brushwood, piercing through a stone.

The hair settled; the wings retreated, her eyes slowly set
on a young boy tending tulips. Their

The devil, the Angels and the flowerbedThe wind breezed through curtains waving in despair.
A tinkle of bells danced from the devil's lair
ringing with a distressful purpose, chilling the wind
that coursed, while fire tormented a soul within.

The brazen hue of dust preserving memories of bliss
trembled with the soft breeze like a wavering kiss.
These memories - stashes untainted by dust lay open
on the hoary flooring next to a person lying broken.

Locks black as the iris enveloped in gloom,
glide like a fresh spring, watering flowers to bloom,
to give way to orbs shining with the last tears.
She looked up from the curse of seclusion over years.

She glanced as the devil jeer

Celosia's Destiny"Our love's defined by
Celosia and ‘kelos’;
my... what a cursed fate"

do read description to understand this

My six-word-stories"A lot is said... none meant..."

"Love and logic truly don't rhyme..."

"Who said you ever knew me...?

...but you did, didn't you? Why?"

"Writers paint pictures that painters cant"

"Do raindrops, departed, ever meet again?"

"I lived till you loved me"

"Alas, you are my darkness redefined"

The Man without a FaceHe stares in a mirror through eyes clogging tears
a smirk persisting alongside; a dead, worthless sneer.
He stares hard yet recognizing not the man he sees
recognizing that man is a desperately elevated dream of his

He wonders if his deeds - reflected - are right
he betrayed his friends, he abandoned his wife
reasons always lurk in the pits of the mind
yet so dark? At times his cynical heart reclined.

He smiled on insults and laughed in disgrace
he knew not what he was so he altered his face
with each turn and bend, with each traffic light
his face twist and turned, losing remnants of sight.

A con you could say, no one pronounced

Something More - The ArtistThomas, the lone teenage son of a humble plumber, felt as if he were on trial.

"I… don't know," Thomas said, with eyes downcast.

"You're the last person to see Will, son. Are you sure you don't have any guesses as to where he might be?" the bearded officer asked, with a stare that demanded attention.

Thomas slicked his brown hair back with his left hand while attempting to regain some composure. He hated questions with uncertain answers. He especially hated answering them in a sparsely-furnished room with cameras watching his every movement.

"Will was acting a little different yesterday, I think. Even stranger than usual," Thomas said, tr

Divided Souls (tease) SKPurple eyes stared up at the form of the Patch official that stood from a high branch in a nearby tree.

-So the shaman fight already started…-

-Yes-

The dark girl narrowed her eyes as a twisted grin crossed her lips.

-We the Patch officers are looking for shamans to join the fight. - He continued paying little attention to her gesture, ignoring the confusion that caused him as it pretty much proved she was already aware of their task. –I am here to test your abilities and determine if you qualify or not for the tournament.-

She tilted her head at one side in a curious manner. –Test?-

-You will have to fight with me and try to harm my

The Room'I've had enough' I shouted to no one in particular, but it worked. My Mike and Lucy stopped shouting at each other and my husband finally started paying some attention to what was going on around him.

'What's wrong honey?' he asked, his voice sweet like outdated ice cream. I wanted to puke.

'What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! Don't you see what's going on in here? They are shouting all the time about nothing! Crying just because they are! And I'm left all alone with them because you are so self-absorbed you don't even notice it! That's what's wrong! And it's like that every day and I just can't take it any longer. I've had enough'

'Oh, honey… I

Infant CareHello, my name is Lisa Murrell. I am a nurse at Saint Redfield's Childrens Hospital. I work in the infants and toddlers department.

On some days, some of the infants pass on because of breathing problems or the mother or father abusing them. One infant I worked with; I'll never forget him. His name was Lucas Djuan. He came in; all of his body burned from head to toe because his mother left him inside of the house, with the stove on, and went to a friends house to drink. Lucas was only about three years old. He put one of his toys onto the stove before turning it off. The toy caught on fire which caught the wall painting and the oven mitten o

I Seek...They had been fighting for hours. It was a fight for power, for dominance. No one dared to touch the other's body. If they did, it would be lethal; their death. They compromised destroying everything else around them.

She circled him with blazing eyes. They radiated a quenchless desire for revenge. She was on fire. He, on the other side, stood still at the same place. It was like he was… frozen. He had his eyes closed but he could sense her. She was around him, provoking him to an endless fight. Her insistence bothered him. He opened his eyes, dark blue eyes, and pierced her with invisible blades. A faint cry slipped her lips. His cold

***The weather is nice enough to go out and walk in the park. At least, that's what I thought for the first 5 minutes. But then I ran into a little girl, maybe 5 or 6, playing with her older brother. The parents were sitting on the soft, juicy grass, beaming. I looked at them and realized they'd be all dead by midnight. A car accident.

What you're thinking right now must be something along the lines of 'what the fuck is wrong with you?!'. The answer is: a lot. Shitty childhood, insecurities, no prospects for future... you name it. The biggest problem, however, is this uncanny ability of mine. To put it shortly, when I look at someone, I know wh

White Moon 1-3I made my way to the marking tent. Smiling as some of the younger ones ran past. They were dark skinned, yellow-eyed and dark haired, all of them. My mother and I were the only ones in the tribe that were different. I had her flame-colored hair and her pale skin. Sometimes I wished I looked like my older brothers. I wished that I was as big as they were, that I had their dark skin and hair but Mother told me to be proud of my elvin blood. I had no choice but to listen to her and grew to like my fair skin and red hair. My eyes were different from anyone else's. My eyes were a yellowish green. Everyone liked my eyes. Said they were pretty. The

Again and Again and here we are again...

"I think we need to move on", he finally says after a long pause.

I don't want to tell him this but the truth is...

.....I gave up three months ago.

We were never really back together,

he was just playing the game

the same one he's been playing all these years.

January 9th, 2013

I'm in the parking lot at the funeral home.

My phone beeps...

A text message...

"Please come see me soon...I miss you.."

and that was the moment when everything changed.

My grandmother was gone

and I would rather swallow nails then go see him.

He offered no sympathy

thick and thinwe aren't like the couples
resting on thin ice;
they'll be sweet and simple anywhere

his promise not to die alone
and mine to pour two cups of tea
each morning:

it took a faulty string of yarn
and staples, tape, to hold us
close (but that was all)

he runs a hand through my hair,
short like small town phone books
now, and says to me:

"My house is empty
but it needs another book or two,
a toothbrush; would you mind?"

his hand is warm in mine,
smooth and flat, form-fitting,
like a glove, and I say:

"Not even, but I'd love a little help
tonight: an extra seat at dinner,
would you join me?"

an effect like watercolor running into
one another

Because I'm a LiarBecause I’m a liar,
I like to twist truths and make up stories
I can’t help what comes from my mouth, so
I began telling them more often…

Because I’m a liar,
I tell tall tales to make myself more interesting…
I have almost forgotten what was real and what was made up,
I began to stop caring.

Because I told a lie –
- And got caught
I was immediately labeled and deserted
Nobody bothered to know what was true and what was not.

But if I go back to telling truths,
Would there be people still willing to believe me?

Because I’ll forever be called a liar,
Whispers behind my back are present
Not all of t

Browse More Like This

more ▶

More from ~NotenSMSK

Behind the cellar door      There
                            lies something
                        hidden behind the cellar
                    door. What enigma, what secret, oh
        what alluring truth could it hold? Oh what
sown seed, | |              of evil would
   it perhaps be?

Light within DarknessA dark soul is just

an excuse for light to find

a place to call home.

The Felonious PoetThe poet locked in shackles of iron and stone,
imprisoned in gloomy dungeons, alone to atone
for crimes and felonies, so deceitful he is!
Yet the criminal in truth is the writing pad of his.
Sentenced by the law of all nations in concert,
such renowned reputation; oh would he wish to revert!
But alas no whim of his shall be entertained heretofore.
No child passing by shall smile at his name anymore.
What were the atrocities he was condemned with?

He was a con
for his writing was a devious art
he mentioned not what was
but what he meant to impart.
He was a traitor
for he was not true to his word.
He expressed in entirety once,
but the next time he differed.
He was a murderer
for he killed many a time in his songs
the savior to the maiden
who was meant to live long.
He was a thief
for his robbery was also well known.
He robbed the elfish king,
of his jewels and his throne.
He was a liar,
for he knew not what he had last said.
In one song he was

Predator and PreyHe walked home with shackling eyes
constraining all those too unwise
to slither like snakes after prey
but this time it’s their turn to pray
for though they conceal themselves well
they ignore tolling of the bell.
The bell that resounds loud to all
“The beast shall appear this nightfall!”
And so he twists and turns through bends
reaching his hut, so well he blends
with nature as if it adhered
to his likes and joy and despair
yet this time only whispers rose
for calamity was quite close.
The burglars slowly approached
the poor lonely farmers abode
Till now evening was at hand.
The farmer put on his wristband
“Tonight shall not be as foretold”
he thought feeling the need to stroll
he picked the lamp up and approached
his door when with a crash it broke!
And climbed in ten or twenty men
the farmer, surprised could not defend.
They grabbed him by his arms and limbs
twisting them, with their intents grim.
The lamp fell as the hut caught fire.
The farmer cried;

Jurassic TalesOften boring are tales much told
lousily, of Jurassic creatures so old.
dead, forgotten are they;
eventually they decayed
now let rest of the tale stay untold

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

#TheWritersMeow
Cool Cats Who Write

#write-to-live
Literature is Emotions

#LooseLacesPoetry
Poetry Feeds Our Souls

#StoriesAndPoemsClub

#ProjectPorkchop
Do not add Coke!

#Open-Mic-Poetry
All poets are welcome

#My-Soul-Bleeds-Ink
We write; it's who we are.

#The-Power-of-Words
Inspire through your art

Show all (16)

Details

Submitted: December 28, 2012
Submitted with: Sta.sh Writer

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 28
Favourites: 17 [who?]
Views: 216 (0 today)

License

Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

[x]

Promise off a million stars

by ~NotenSMSK, Dec 28, 2012, 1:56:07 AM
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Romance / General / Flash Fiction & Vignettes

"A million..."

"Yes a million stars... perhaps there are more. You know what they remind me of?"

"What...?"

"Your birthday..."

"What of it...?"

"You know, I shall give you a million present-"

"Oh stop it!" She giggled "There is no way-"

"What if... I do?"

"Hmm... well I won't like that"

"Huh? Why not?"

"You see, if you give me a million presents together, there won't be anything to give on my next birthday. So give them slowly..."

"Like...?"

"Hmm... just one big present every birthday?"

She giggled again and traced the ground with her little fingers while the boy sat up to complain.

"But they won't make a million!"

"That is okay, it will be a million for me. Perhaps when we grow old it might happen"

"You will remain by my side till then...?"

"Of course I shall!"

"Promise...?"

"I promise upon the..."

"...million stars in the sky today" he spoke aloud as he lowered the forty-seventh bouquet of roses on a small, unapparent grave, his failing eyes shedding tears as he mustered a frail smile:

"Happy birthday"

Promise off a million starsby ~NotenSMSK

Literature / Prose / Fiction / Romance / General / Flash Fiction & Vignettes

Okay so I am sorry... I was trying to (and did accomplish as well) write happy works, works that are inspirational or perhaps less depressing ones but I just had to get this work off me. Initially the number was different but then I figured that children would pick up bigger numbers. I don't really see much mistakes in the work and while I am no longer a child, I hope the dialogues didn't feel out of place. It has also been quite some time since I last wrote prose so I hope this works fine.

It is in a way, a prose version of the work

The promise you madeThe breeze so cold; carrier of the sorrowful tiding;
Wingless Angels were we, yet my heart felt like gliding.
The steepness of your eyes, the endowed visage,
outshining the splendor of nature's foliage

Words wedged in the throat, too shy to be eloquent.
Thus I replied with a smile, yet happiness... distant.
I sighed, a deep slumbering sound, complimenting a tear
for reality had realized my worst nightmare.

Oh the days spent moseying through dense shrubs,
by the beauty of the summer spring where dwell the cherubs.
Oh we shared twice the sorrow as we shared each others pain
yet our memoirs, our companionship let the pain not remai

and is also based on a totally different time era from that work but... well I think the two titles in themselves explain how the two works seem to be related. And while some debate may arise over the ages of the two that could be inferred from both works being different, I am fine with it. I hope it sounds/hears as well as it sounds to me and that the reader is able to feel what I felt. Oh... I was just wondering; I don't have a really awesome title for this so if you have a better title in mind, do tell me

I have chosen the category as Fiction now, since... well it id not happen in real I guess. I still don't know where to put it though since there is no emotional or sad sub category in it but I guess I will have to live with it. Any advice is welcome

For those kind enough to critique:

1. Did you enjoy the work?

2. Was there any impact?

3. Did the addition of ellipses add a better effect (as compared to there being a few)?

4. General comments

Thank you for reading!

Critique by ~TobbieGurl385 Dec 28, 2012, 10:32:47 AM

I very much enjoyed this piece. The beginning was joyful, sweet. I wasn't expecting the ending. It switched from a joyful, sweet message to a sad and sweet end. It holds every element that a simple and gentle love story should have. It is innocent, playful. The characters are perfect. They invite you into the story. The ellipsis was also well used. It helped give it a familiar mood, a familiar situation that can be related to. It's a simple, loving conversation between two people in love. The ending was quite well done. It was very effective and romantic. It is beautiful piece. Overall, I have to say that I love it.

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

5 Replies

Devious Rating

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Critique by ~Michel-le-fou Dec 28, 2012, 5:21:30 AM

There is probably not much I can offer albeit fair and broad-minded, but as a starter, the tone of the dialogue WAS visibly tender and romantic. In such moments, the lovers usually speak little. [Puabi and I almost say nothing.] I do wish I could spend a birthday like that nowadays. I would like to see a bit more by way of setting, however. A description of the stars and the darkness of the night sky, the glow in their eyes, etc, would read nicely; but that is MY style. They are very short sentences, seemingly interrupted by thoughts or whatnot. Charming.

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

2 Replies

Devious Rating

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

~BlackLily02 Jan 20, 2013 Student Writer

This is so sweet even the end which I think made it so brilliant. When I read the end I actually stared thinking more about what happened to her and how she died and I felt sympathy for him. for you question 3 I think it did I think it wouldn't happen been the same with fewer ellipses.

~NotenSMSK Jan 20, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I am glad that you liked it

thank you for the fav's and I left that as uncertainty. I just left it to the reader to think what happened. Thank you for your feedback!

~BlackLily02 Jan 21, 2013 Student Writer

Welcome and it was really brilliant

~NotenSMSK Jan 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

*PuzzledHeartBox Jan 3, 2013

Goddamned.. that ending ._.
a very lovely poem with a very heartfelt ending that describes true love.

~NotenSMSK Jan 4, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I am glad that you enjoyed it

Thank you very much for your comment on this work

*PuzzledHeartBox Jan 4, 2013

Didn't expect such an ending to be honest, but it's brilliant.

~NotenSMSK Jan 4, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

So it caught you off guard? That is good! I was afraid most people might say "coming from you... we knew SOMEONE had to die"

*PuzzledHeartBox Jan 4, 2013

It indeed caught me off guard, and I enjoyed it that much more because of it.

Well... I wouldn't label you such a dark and dreary person but you do tend to have a tendency to do something like that, but it's refreshing in a way

~NotenSMSK Jan 4, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

refreshing! I am glad you think that way! yes, I don't think it was enjoyable if the ending was expected

More from ~NotenSMSK

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

License

Promise off a million stars

"A million..."

"Yes a million stars... perhaps there are more. You know what they remind me of?"

"What...?"

"Your birthday..."

"What of it...?"

"You know, I shall give you a million present-"

"Oh stop it!" She giggled "There is no way-"

"What if... I do?"

"Hmm... well I won't like that"

"Huh? Why not?"

"You see, if you give me a million presents together, there won't be anything to give on my next birthday. So give them slowly..."

"Like...?"

"Hmm... just one big present every birthday?"

She giggled again and traced the ground with her little fingers while the boy sat up to complain.

"But they won't make a million!"

"That is okay, it will be a million for me. Perhaps when we grow old it might happen"

"You will remain by my side till then...?"

"Of course I shall!"

"Promise...?"

"I promise upon the..."

Promise off a million starsby ~NotenSMSK

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style