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There was one time when you thought I,
was perfect, no defects to hide.
Impressed were all, imposed a lot,
On all your minds, but you knew not.
The truth of me, the lies I hide,
I do not lie, but hide I might.
Whatever way, deceived you are.
Blinded by, a truth so far,
So unreal, you cannot grasp.
Believe or not, its truth alas,
But hate me not, that's who I am,
But that's for me, to you I am,
Or tried to be, tried very hard.
To be a friend, one true at heart,
To help you out, fulfill your needs,
Play a small role in your deeds.
Intention wise, I will not lie,
The one thing which I ever tried,
Was to bring a smile alive,
On your lips, to do I'd die,
That's all I ask, not hair breadth much,
Erase my life, if you feel must,
From your life, your memory,
But one last thing before I leave.
Hate me if you feel to hate.
Just don't make the mistakes I made.
For, who I am, I am not proud,
Truth is that I myself doubt.
What I was, I lived in pain,
My life was shadowed in constant rain,
The reason why I smiled a lot,
From inside I decayed and rot.
I hate myself as much you do,
Yes that's the truth, I'm laughing too!
For cried I have too much that I,
Cant cry no more, so Laugh do I.
Forget me now, thanks for your time.
You do your work now that I've done mine.
This is one of the oldest poems I wrote after "The Maiden" and it reflected one of the many parts of me. I am not the most perfect person for you rather I am not perfect in any sense.

I make mistakes partly because I am human and partly because I am me. But rarely is it the case that I say something to offend you unless you started it! and I never really intend to hurt your feelings. Of course, you may not know every darkest secret of mine but that is none of your purpose to put it bluntly. Anyways i hope you enjoy!
Critiques appreciated!
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:iconsofialf:
sofialf Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014
This is very engaging, i really hope it carried on. It's flowy and you can clearly see that you've been truthful with it. The words aren't forced at all, and the work was paid off with the amazing result. Congratulations!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I really appreciate you reading this work - it is one of my oldest and 'honest' works - very rare I guess. Thank you again for reading it :huggle:
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:iconcinders8328:
Cinders8328 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I do, and I like this expression of you!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am glad you do :) haha you do? I am flattered :)
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:iconcinders8328:
Cinders8328 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes! :D
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:iconbotanicaloca:
botanicaloca Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
Yeap, this certainly has floored me ^^
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha.. I hope you like... the "real me" xD not that I am VERY dark :( I am just dark ^^ (not dark colored >.< )
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:iconbotanicaloca:
botanicaloca Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
Hahahaa is ok, I really enjoy the work and it certainly reflects a lot of the happenings of the soul. Not all of us a light guided.., as Mr., Gray often says.. we walk along the Gray paths... and as Mohini would respond: This is why we are all dual.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:O I can write a poem on that and dedicate it to your characters :D Give me, IF possible, some dialogue of theirs that you feel is somewhat philosophical and you can give away (a portion only) and I will write a poem over it :D
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:iconbotanicaloca:
botanicaloca Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
Ohhh that would be absolutely amazing!!!!! Both characters are dual, I am going to PM you a bit of their dialogue yes?
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Send a note :) (PM personal message right? Wrong! awww :( )
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:iconbotanicaloca:
botanicaloca Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
Yes, I sent it as a note, as we believe the story must be kept secret ;)...but a poem would make them come alive even more!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes it will :) and of course you will be entitled to use it :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So many people would relate to your poem:nod: Beautiful and I'm sure that it makes the reader asks such question to himself.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This was originally a message typed to someone (my second proper poem) and well I explained a lot. I guess people are able to relate to it :) Thank you for commenting and faving!
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:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. Enjoyed reading your work:nod:
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am glad :)
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:iconallsparra:
allsparra Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
I like it; it resonates with nearly everyone. Plus, it rhymes. It's hard to find good poetry that rhymes nowadays.
The only thing I have to say is about the commas. Although the third time I read the poem the comma placement made sense (mostly,) the first time I read it, the commas fractured the piece in a way that made it more difficult to read. And at the end, you rhymed your time with your time, which is understandable given what you were trying to say, but still is rather awkward.
Favorited.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Changed the last line :)
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:iconallsparra:
allsparra Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
That works very well. Thanks (:
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the appreciation as well as for the comments. I will look into the comma placememnt; a person once told me that poetry has the same grammer as prose so I guess I added many unnecessary comma's :D thanks for ponting that out as well as the last rhyme and thanks for the fav as well :)
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:iconallsparra:
allsparra Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
No problem; thanks for looking into it (:
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:iconaxlazu:
Axlazu Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I considered a little Critique, but I hate picking part work like this.
I love it too much to critique it.
The rhyming pattern for one is what I enjoy; I like a poem that rhymes.

And its something a lot of us can all relate to.

Nicely done
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I would have welcomed a critique if there was something you wanted to point out :) but otherwise I am glad you liked it and also for taking out time to read it!
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012
This had a very nice flow and a nice story attached. I could feel the flow of consciousness as we proceeded in reading the words and lines.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am glad you liked it :) one of my olden works :D
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
You're most welcome ;p
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:iconpuddingvalkyrie:
PuddingValkyrie Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I like it. My interpretation is that you try your best to be good and make your friends smile, but there are times when you fail, or you feel you've let them down, and you hate that you did that...
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, in a way it is a confession, that I try to do all good that I can but that might not be who i truly am... and well yea I can't make everyone happy together :shrug:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You can convince yourself you aren't really lying because it's questions they've not asked... I know the feeling!
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha, you REALLY know it having said that statement :)
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yep, haha. it's better than lying. sort of.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
True that :D
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:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Student Writer
I really like this poem, and I can really relate to it.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am glad you like it :) it is old, when I was say, comparatively less stable with my own self. That is when I wrote it. I hope all is well with you and thanks for the fav!
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:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome, and I truly did love it. It reminded me of a time when I didn't show who I really was because I was afraid that part of me wasn't good enough to be shown to anyone. No matter if it is old or not, it is a truly amazing poem.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
awww I really like your words :heart: I just adapt according to people... I won't say that I am decieving them; I am just trying to be good for them.
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:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Student Writer
Well that is good, and I hope you keep up the good work because you can go far with this.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
awww thank you :love: I would be very happy if you can just glance through my works (IF you have time :) ) otherwise notension ^^
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:iconangeloflight03:
AngelofLight03 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome, and sure I can do that. I would like to see what else you have written.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hehe I HOPE I dont disappoint you, just joined recently ^^
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July 14, 2012
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