The Real me

There was one time when you thought I,
was perfect, no defects to hide.
Impressed were all, imposed a lot,
On all your minds, but you knew not.
The truth of me, the lies I hide,
I do not lie, but hide I might.
Whatever way, deceived you are.
Blinded by, a truth so far,
So unreal, you cannot grasp.
Believe or not, its truth alas,
But hate me not, that's who I am,
But that's for me, to you I am,
Or tried to be, tried very hard.
To be a friend, one true at heart,
To help you out, fulfill your needs,
Play a small role in your deeds.
Intention wise, I will not lie,
The one thing which I ever tried,
Was to bring a smile alive,
On your lips, to do I'd die,
That's all I ask, not hair breadth much,
Erase my life, if you feel must,
From your life, your memory,
But one last thing before I leave.
Hate me if you feel to hate.
Just don't make the mistakes I made.
For, who I am, I am not proud,
Truth is that I myself doubt.
What I was, I lived in pain,
My life was shadowed in constant rain,
The reason why I smiled a lot,
From inside I decayed and rot.
I hate myself as much you do,
Yes that's the truth, I'm laughing too!
For cried I have too much that I,
Cant cry no more, so Laugh do I.
Forget me now, thanks for your time.
You do your work now that I've done mine.